Friends

whenever you start feeling that your life is colorful then you cant forget your FRIENDS because they fill all the BRIGHT colors into your life.

 Friendship is just a part of life's fabric for most humans, so much so we tend to take them for granted. They're just there; that person we confide in, support and are supported by. The importance of these relationships can be lost in their norm status. But they can prove more valuable than family and partners over the course of a lifetime and are worth the work to keep them healthy and alive.

"Friendships are truly some of the most important relationships other than spousal, significant other or child; they have equal gravity. I think they're that important," says Charles Farrell, psychotherapist, LCMHC, who maintains a private practice and works at the Portsmouth Hospital. "Without question they offer an opportunity for us to know ourselves."

"A good friend is someone that lets us be ourselves and hopefully encourages us to the best part of ourselves. I think they are a mirror of our values, sorrows and fun. And I'd like to emphasize, we all need our coffee friends to talk ...; but we have to have fun with them too." Numerous studies indicate friends play a major part in our mental and physical health. Sheila McNamee, a professor of communication at the University of New Hampshire, cites the Romanian children housed in orphanages during the reign of dictator Nicolae Ceaucescu. During his years in leadership children with even slight defects were put in orphanages. "Those children were minimally attended, fed and diaper-changed basically. They died, or they were ill. That's one of numerous studies indicating (the importance) of touch and human connection. Without it we can't survive."

McNamee's professional and personal opinions on friendships are one and the same; the best are based on communications, a sentiment all those interviewed agree on. "I think that's what makes a good relationship; the ability to talk through things, even the challenging things," she says.

She respects there are people who "want to move on. And for some that might work," she adds. But without the communication it's doubtful anything is learned, and maybe less changed.

What's needed to make the friendship stronger is non-judgmental, non-blameful conversation, she says.

"When we're communicating we are creating reality and meaning together. I can't create it without you. ...; I can't be a good friend if you don't acknowledge me as good. The blame game gets us nowhere. We have both contributed to the situation."

We can mess up, make a mistake. "It's how we respond to it that makes or breaks things. If we're accused, the first reaction is self-defense. If you start with 'gee, it's so unlike you, what made you do this,' ...; you can have a conversation," she says.

Some people have no friends, other people have so many friends they can’t keep up with them all or give each friend the amount of time they’d like to. Kids who understand the importance of friendship and can actually keep friends after making them, have a more fulfilling, gratifying life.

Even if your kids don’t put into practice the principles involved in making and keeping friends until they’re older, you’re planting seeds for lifetime happiness and success.


So, what else can we add to your understanding the importance of friendship?

Friendship is important because it makes your life more meaningful and valuable.

Aristotle once said: “Without friends, no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.”

And from Saint Thomas Aquinas: “There is nothing more to be prized than true friendship.”

Only the smallest number of people can live peacefully and contentedly without friends. The rest of us need friends like a fish needs water.


Our spirits and hearts cry out for communion with like-minded folks. We share our hearts and we both feel uplifted. We share our dreams, we share our sorrows and joys.

But mostly, when we understand the importance of friendship, the true meaning of friendship, we share our lives with others we trust.